Letters from Life

i want to do everything i want to do…and i really do

My Name…leaves me shaken, not stirred

A lazy Sunday and a perfectly normal one in that I had late brunch and then again dozed off while the sun comes through my window, on my face, and i use the warm feeling for an even better siesta.

At 15.10, I am half awake but still feeling the beauty of this peace. And while I am in this state, I usually get ideas…ideas I like because they come on their own. So here comes this one about there being so many people on our planet and so many of us share the same name.

And then I thought about the movie where these aliens had numbers for their IDs and no names. So progresses my chain of thought-dream concoction which was shaken (not stirred) when suddenly I placed myself in this process and thought about “What is my name?”.

Suddenly I felt a strange disconnect with the name with which I and the people around me know me as me. This is the beginning of a troublesome feeling as I was jolted out of my laziness and  felt completely out of place.

To get off this weird feeling, I set off to the coffee shop. Well, bad idea (in hindsight).

At the coffee shop, I went to the counter and was greeted by the cashier. And then he is waiting for the order and I am looking at the menu behind him because I am not able to associate the names of the products with the products. Words like ‘Mocha’, ‘Latte’, ‘Americano’, and ‘cakes’ were suddenly my enemies as I struggled to pick something I am familiar with.  Finally I said “Mocha, grande.” And I thought this was a task well done.

More trouble, when I presented my card for payment. It had my ‘name’ on it. “What if he asks me:  Is this your card? Is this you?”

Now sitting at my PC and thinking about how this all played ‘me’, I find it,of course, my own doing. Because our thoughts (especially the predominant ones) are following a chain of our prior predominant thoughts and ideas. So either, I am totally losing it, or this is a start of something different. In the former case, I can have consolation in that every good thing comes to an end; and in the latter that every start is usually a little off the charts.

PS: I had a 300 ml coke all by myself. And I don’t usually drink aerated beverages. In fact, I don’t drink them, at all.

Categories: Ideas


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