“I like this person because he is tall, rich, philosophical, patriot…etc etc”
It is good to like qualities in people but dont let that be the decision maker in loving someone. When you let one or more qualities be the judge of whether you love someone or not then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. WHY? Because personalities are dynamic and the very human nature likes change all the time.
I like loose fitting clothes today and you think I look good in them, 5 years later I have a fancy for figure-hugging outfits and you dont agree with this idea. This is OK. People in love dont need to agree on everything but it is an issue if more of my qualititave features change with time and most of them dont make sense to you. That’s when people get confused if their love was real in the first place. This is another absurdity “real love”. Love is always real and if it is not then it was not love when you started it.
So what is love (aka real love). Love is unconditional. Yes this is the time honored definition of love. “I love this person.” There should not be “I love this person because…” No no no! When you have conditions in love it is business contract where some qualities in this person satisfies some need in their so-called “lover”.
So another question comes: “If I just love a person then how do I communicate my love to them if I cannot point out the things I love in them…their smile, manners, etc.” The answer is: “You dont need to communicate your love in words.” When you are in love your actions, manners, interactions, etc, with your lover will clearly manifest your love to them. They will know! Some people take more time than others but everone has the ability to sense this love. So dont go about this mistake of overly communicating your love and let the other person “breathe” and come to it on their own.
And if you are looking for love, the first thing to understand is that you are love. You need to start loving yourself before you seek intimacy in outer world. Actually you are the only source of everything that you need / want. So only you can provide yourself intimacy. Nobody else can do this for you. You get more of what you give and love also woks the same way.
#peace and love